Friday, December 04, 2009
Holiday Madness Advice Madness
Soon, my boss exited out of the restroom laughing. After asking me if I'd read the "Tips for Managing Holiday Madness" and I said, "No," he exclaimed that the tips sounded more as if a person was "mad," as in crazy. Reading the tips, I easily saw why he laughed at the list.
Most of the tips are sound advice but a few left me scratching my head.
Buy everyone gifts from the same store (e.g., bath and body lotions, candles, books), shop on the Web from one mall site, or buy everyone magazine subscriptions. And, hope no one judges you lazy, uncreative, or whatever for putting no thought into their gift.
Break projects into small steps so you won't feel like a failure if you don't get the whole project done. It's easier to berate yourself for one small failure. - We certainly want to make it as easy as possible to berate ourselves.
Have pot luck meals so you don't have to do all the cooking. You can always dine out every day and worry about credit card debt next year. - Nothing like running up your personal debt to help deal with stress and madness.
Then focus on making that happen for yourself. When you find yourself comparing yourself to others, remind yourself that they may look perfect but they're all probably miserable inside. - Thinking others are miserable inside always makes you feel better, doesn't it?
Besides, when you begin to feel good about being alone, everyone will call and e-mail you to make demands on your time. - Huh? How do they know when I've began to feel good about being alone?
By not spending money on other people you'll have more for yourself. The holiday season comes every year. It's fine to miss this year. - Greed as a coping mechanism. Next year you'll have no friends on whom to spend money.
Personally, I recommend switching religions as the various holidays come up. Always be a religion other than the religion of the holiday being celebrated and you have a built in excuse not to participate. If people accuse you of being crazy sue them for violating your religious rights or violating the American Disabilities Act.
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