Sunday, December 27, 2009

 

10 Things Wives Should Never Do

1. Make an issue out of meaningless "differences" in terminology. For instance, what is the difference between "babysitting" and "child care?" Some women seem to think the difference is a major issue. It's not. Get it?

2. Imply that your husband's office work is basically "sitting on your butt." "The brain makes up 2% of a person's weight. Despite this, even at rest, the brain consumes 20% of the body's energy. The brain consumes energy at 10 times the rate of the rest of the body per gram of tissue." (Source) There's a reason hours of mental exertion exhaust a person and physical exercise can be refreshing.

3. Give us a sweater as a gift. The last sweater I received as a gift has been worn once and spent the remainder of the last eleven years in my closet. Give us some cool tires for our car or truck, or neat power tools. If you husband drives a minivan, give him a car or a truck.

4. Cologne. Men don't like to wear cologne. The only ones who do are insecure wimps who think they must to attract a woman. Do you want your husband to believe you think he's an insecure wimp?

5. Criticize his driving or insist he follow your directions. If you don't like the way he drives, drive yourself in another vehicle. Your directions probably aren't any better than his. Most of the women in my life are/have been chronically late. Maybe, it's because they don't know the quickest route to their destination.

6. Expect compliments that aren't deserved. Did you cook a new meal that isn't so great? A polite man won't criticize but don't expect insincere compliments to massage your fragile ego. Be glad he ate it without complaint.

7. Buy a bunch of clothes and then ask him to return half of them for you, even if he works across the street from the store where you bought the clothes. Be sure you want what you buy, it fits, isn't defective, etc. If you take it home and decide you don't like, live with it or return it yourself.

8. Think you should be able to control your husband's conservation, comments in public. You may be bored, but boredom is as often a result of the bored person's mental shortcomings as the speakers. Your husband has as much right to be the center of attention as you.

9. Expect compliments for new haircuts, make-up, etc. Remember, beauty is only skin deep. A self centered "look at me" attitude makes the most physically beautiful woman ugly in a heartbeat.

10. Fail to show gratitude for you husband's efforts to maintain or improve your lives and standard of living. Be it his work, doing a little housework, mowing the yard, landscaping, painting or whatever, a person deserves positive reinforcement for successful efforts. Psychology shows that the best way to shape an other's behavior into desired behaviors is to reward the desired behavior. If you want your husband to do more housework, thank him sincerely when he does and give him affection. If you can't give affection freely, you deserve what you get.

11. BONUS - Write stupid lists like this one or this one. What kind of conceited, self-righteous nag or jerk thinks they should define what is acceptable or unacceptable in all situations. Open your heart and mind and learn to tolerate a little of what you think you don't really like. You might find something better than you ever dreamed.

Comments:
Funny list.

I do hate it, though, when I'm out without my kids and someone asks if Daddy is babysitting them. He is not a babysitter; he is their father who is equally capable and equally responsible for their care. He is not providing child care, either. He is being their Dad.

Hmm, truth to tell... more capable.
 
The term babysitting is some what of an insult to the father too. It implies that he isn't/can't be a parent.
 
Heh! Funny list DADvocate. Thanks for stopping by my joint. I'm gonna fish around here for a while, if it's okay...

btw: Florida was on fire like I've not seen them this season. I don't think anybody stood a chance.

They did something just about like that to my beloved LSU Tigers mid-season. Sigh...
 
If you don't like the way he drives, drive yourself in another vehicle.

HAH! + 10!

Epic Win List.
 
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