DADvocate

The market made significant gains today. The Dow rose nearly 257 points, the NASDAQ over 63 and the S&P rose Nearly 27. As we all know, this is because Obama said,

I love these folks who helped get us in this mess and then suddenly say, 'Well, this is Obama's economy,'" the president said in a pointed deviation from his prepared text. "That's fine. Give it to me!

In your ignorance, you may have thought the market climbed for other reasons, such as Intel, yesterday evening, reporting "profit and revenue late Tuesday that dipped from a year ago, but surpassed forecasts. Also, the chipmaker predicted better revenue growth in the third and fourth quarters thanks to improved demand for personal computers." Or, perhaps, because the Fed said this afternoon, "...the end of the recession might be on the horizon." Be not mistaken or mislead, the market rose because Obama spoke.

Rumors say Obama plans to next speak in Michigan where unemployment has hit 15.2%, via Instapundit.

Please hurry, O Great One.