Saturday, June 27, 2009


The Post Office vs. Ex-Wife

Usually when going on vacation, I access the USPS website for to have my mail held until I return. Last week I forgot to do this but figured I could simply go to a post office at my destination and they could get it done for me.

While my son was at football camp at Notre Dame, I found the post office in Granger, Michigan. I entered the line for the single person working the window. Standing there, I picked up a brochure on USPS services and found a phone number I could call to have my mail held. I dialed the number on my cell phone.

A computer voice answered and began giving options and wanted a voice response from me, no option to push buttons rather than speak. I successfully navigated the half dozen or so levels I need to get through to give my name and address to hold my mail. The computer then asked me what date to start holding the mail. Realizing I didn't know the exact date and not seeing a calendar posted any where, I asked someone today's date.

The computer thought I said "October" and began rattling off about how it couldn't schedule that far in advance and then hung up on me. (Or, maybe, voice recognition systems in Michigan don't understand Southern accents.)

By that time I was at the front of the line. I told the lady what I wanted to do and she gave me a form to fill out. After filling out the form, I handed it to her. She said she would mail it to my local post office and they would hold my mail. I asked her how long it would take for the form to reach my post office. Three days.

I had assumed in the information age that all post offices would be linked to a central network which would allow them to communicate rapidly with any other post office. I can do this from home on the Internet, so why not the USPS?

I told here three days would be too long. She suggested I get on the Internet and submit the hold request that way. I told her I didn't have a laptop computer. She suggested I use the one in the hotel lobby. I told her I was staying at a campground. She suggested I find a library and use a computer there. I called my ex-wife, who was feeding and watering my dog while I was gone, and asked her to pick up my mail each day. She did.

All you who want the Federal government to control more and more of your lives, businesses, health care, etc remember: You can depend on your ex-wife or ex-husband more than you can the government. (Also, the USPS is one of the few, maybe only, federal agency the is self supporting.)

"All you who want the Federal government to control more and more of your lives, businesses, health care, etc remember: You can depend on your ex-wife or ex-husband more than you can the government."

Mr. DADvocate, sir, having an ex-wife willing to do you a favor one would ordinarily do for somebody in the neighborhood, perhaps you are unaware of the millions of ex-wives (and millions of unwed women) who are presently married to the government. Or at least seriously engaged to it and looking forward to a future as one of the Welfare State's multiple wives.

There's a huge number who hate their ex-husband or ex-boyfriend so much that they'll gladly accept all the abuse a polygynous Welfare State will dish out to them. And if the State might smack their ex around a bit, the Welfare State's harem slave wannabees will enjoy wearing the State's leash all that much more.

Mr. DADvocate, bless you and your ex-wife for being able to get along despite the mournful state of your past marriage. But for the grace of God, you might be one of the millions of divorced dads put through the wringer by an ex-wife and her sugar daddy the State.
I just had a similar tale with the Post Office system myself.

I did remember to use the internet to hold my mail, and that part worked. BUT, I had asked them to deliver it on the first day of mail when I returned.

First day, some mail, typical for a Monday.

Second day, nothing,

Third day, I stopped by the local post office to ask about it. (I was prepared to pick it up there, if need be) Clerk told me that they didn't have it there, they never delivered after a hold, and gave me the phone number of the delivery supervisor to call. Also, they tended to close at 4 pm. I couldn't have made it there that day. Got home, and the held mail had been delivered that day. SIGH.
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