DADvocate

The Anchoress posted about Obama, Psychic duality & the churches. I barely got two paragraphs into the post when I read this.

As a young woman working in New York City, I watched a lovely, brilliant middle-aged black woman struggle to maintain her dignity and forbearance when she was told, by a youngish white woman who seemed to love her, that she - the white woman - could not invite the black woman to her wedding reception because she’d been told by family members that they would not attend the wedding if the black woman came.

The black woman bowed her head at her desk, as though she’d been dealt a blow to her solar plexus, and she breathed deeply, and when she raised her head, she said, “someday, we will get past this, but not today.” She meant “we” as a nation, but also “we” as people living and working together.

Some people reading my posts may get the wrong idea of my views on racism. Racism is totally unacceptable to me. I simply think that some who protest racism make unfair, false accusations that harm the cause of stopping racism more than help it.

If this had been my wedding the black woman would have been invited and embraced by myself. Screw the bigoted family members. People who know me personally know beyond any doubt this is what I'd do.

When still married, my wife would get angry at me because I would give her father a hard time for occasional bigoted comments he made. I never accused him of racism. I would simply point out the unfairness of his statements and that they weren't based on fact.

She was pissed when I refused to join the local private country club. Membership was by invitation only. I asked if they had any black members and the answer was "No." I was aware of several black professionals in the small town that could easily afford membership. I refused to join. They may have black members now. I don't know.

In general, I love other cultures, especially their food. Sharing food is one of the best ways to commune with others of any culture.

I'll admit to a racial bias. I'm more likely to hold a door open for a black person. I'm more likely to offer a black person a ride. I make an extra effort to speak to black people with whom I only have a passing acquaintance. And, I firmly believe that all people of all ethnic backgrounds should have an equal opportunity in school, the work place and every other aspect of life.

I'm not claiming that I never fail to do the right thing. Many times I struggle. But I continue to work and build my strength. If you have trouble finding the strength to do what is right, I recommend you read How Could You Do That?!: The Abdication of Character, Courage, and Conscience by Laura Schlessinger. It won't make your life easier but it'll make it better.

Whenever I hear a story like the one above, I feel a pain in my heart. How can you look in the mirror knowing that you put the evil wishes of someone above what is right and hurt a good person in the process?