Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Men - The Government Says You're Guilty
Dr. Helen posted the other day on Tennessee's approach to domestic violence.
If you visit Kentucky's Dept. of Health site and start clicking links regarding domestic violence, you come to pages like this one that completely label man as the abusers. Or, very ironically, this one at the Kentucky Domestic Violence Association titled "MYTHS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE". Of course, they push the myth that only females are victims and males are abusers on this page. The Kentucky Domestic Violence Association should change its name to the All Men Are Assumed Guilty Association.
Amazingly, Kentucky had ONE link regarding "DV against men." It leads to a web site for Oregon Counseling, a non-profit agency. Its page on domestic violence against men makes excellent points.
For now, men, you can be most assured that the government will ignore your "innocent until proven guilty" right and bow down to the massive female advocacy groups and assume your guilty. You're left with the logical impossibility of proving a negative to try and establish your innocence.
So I received this card in the mail announcing the new domestic violence reporting requirements for the Tennessee Department of Health. I decided to check out their website and found it to be lacking in the recent research on the role women play in domestic violence. I also noticed that the reporting form had the word "female" listed first under "patient" and under perpetrator in the first column listed:Notice how the victim is always female and the perpetrator is always male? Dr. Helen provides links to several studies showing that it just isn't true. But in this Tennessee training manual for EMS workers all references are to male perpetrators and female victims except in references to gay/lesbian relationships.
o Husband
o Ex-husband
o Boyfriend
o Ex-boyfriend
If you visit Kentucky's Dept. of Health site and start clicking links regarding domestic violence, you come to pages like this one that completely label man as the abusers. Or, very ironically, this one at the Kentucky Domestic Violence Association titled "MYTHS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE". Of course, they push the myth that only females are victims and males are abusers on this page. The Kentucky Domestic Violence Association should change its name to the All Men Are Assumed Guilty Association.
Amazingly, Kentucky had ONE link regarding "DV against men." It leads to a web site for Oregon Counseling, a non-profit agency. Its page on domestic violence against men makes excellent points.
In 100 domestic violence situations approximately 40 cases involve violence by women against men. An estimated 400,000 women per year are abused or treated violently in the United States by their spouse or intimate partner. This means that roughly 300,000 to 400,000 men are treated violently by their wife or girl friend.At least someone in Oregon is paying attention.
First of all, the incidence of domestic violence reported men appears to be so low that it is hard to get reliable estimates.
Although the counseling and psychological community have responded to domestic abuse and violence against women, there has been very little investment in resources to address and understand the issues of domestic abuse and violence against men.
For example, it is assumed than a man with a bruise or black eye was in a fight with another man or was injured on the job or playing contact sports. Even when men do report domestic abuse and violence, most people are so astonished men usually end up feeling like nobody believes them.
It is a widely held assumption that women are always the victims and men are always the perpetrators. (Writer's note: Duh!)
Men stay in abusive and violent relationships for many different reasons. The following is a brief list of the primary reasons.
* Protecting Their Children. Abused men are afraid to leave their children alone with an abusive woman. They are afraid that if they leave they will never be allowed to see their children again. The man is afraid the woman will tell his children he is a bad person or that he doesn't love them.
* Assuming Blame (Guilt Prone). Many abused men believe it is their fault or feel they deserve the treatment they receive. They assume blame for events that other people would not. They feel responsible and have an unrealistic belief that they can and should do something that will make things better.
* Dependency (or Fear of Independence). The abused man is mentally, emotionally or financially dependent on the abusive woman. The idea of leaving the relationship creates significant feelings of depression or anxiety. They are "addicted" to each other.
For now, men, you can be most assured that the government will ignore your "innocent until proven guilty" right and bow down to the massive female advocacy groups and assume your guilty. You're left with the logical impossibility of proving a negative to try and establish your innocence.
Comments:
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The interesting thing about abuse on men, and another reason I think it doesn't get as much play, is that a substantial part of the abuse ISN'T physical. I have followed a couple of different articles, because I have female friends who have been caught in this cycle, and the classical checklists for abuse definition have a few listings that are physical, and many that are emotional. As a guy, how do I look at that? In my own case my ex did every single non-physical thing on the list for years. I stuck because I believe in trying, and the situation didn't seem bad enough to put my kids through ending it. They are completly innocent. In the end though, I figured I could do better by them, and myself, by being outside. Naturally there is a whole sh**storm that accompanied.
That sort of abuse is far more subtle, and lifesucking, because it isn't a crisis thing. If she had hit me with a bat, it would have been over, period. But by making it miserable instead of crisis, you always look far more at the tradeoffs. That's why the definition for men is murky in some cases, and the status quo seems like it costs the least.
Domestiv Violence 101
is where the charts came from... interestingly this is from a shelter, and even they explain why they use the He/She splits, because "men abuse women in about 95% of the reported cases of domestic violence."
I don't know if that is an actual figure, or a trueism, but the key word is REPORTED. It is far more likely that the physical damage causes a report, because you can prove it. Emotional abuse on the other hand, is very difficult to prove, and if people don't believe, then why would you report? I believe that men are more likely to be aggressive or violent, though that isn't the only thing that fits the definition.
I don't really see this all as a vast conspiracy against men. This seems like more of a function of cultural mores, combined with the different natures of the genders.
Would you step in front of a bus for a woman if that would save her? What happens if she puts herself there specifically to get you to do it?
Each genders way of dealing with the other is frighteningly complex, but laws want something they can measure. That is why the physical is known, and reported, and the mental is only known vis a vis the physical. In the absense of the physical, you are just a whiner...
That sort of abuse is far more subtle, and lifesucking, because it isn't a crisis thing. If she had hit me with a bat, it would have been over, period. But by making it miserable instead of crisis, you always look far more at the tradeoffs. That's why the definition for men is murky in some cases, and the status quo seems like it costs the least.
Domestiv Violence 101
is where the charts came from... interestingly this is from a shelter, and even they explain why they use the He/She splits, because "men abuse women in about 95% of the reported cases of domestic violence."
I don't know if that is an actual figure, or a trueism, but the key word is REPORTED. It is far more likely that the physical damage causes a report, because you can prove it. Emotional abuse on the other hand, is very difficult to prove, and if people don't believe, then why would you report? I believe that men are more likely to be aggressive or violent, though that isn't the only thing that fits the definition.
I don't really see this all as a vast conspiracy against men. This seems like more of a function of cultural mores, combined with the different natures of the genders.
Would you step in front of a bus for a woman if that would save her? What happens if she puts herself there specifically to get you to do it?
Each genders way of dealing with the other is frighteningly complex, but laws want something they can measure. That is why the physical is known, and reported, and the mental is only known vis a vis the physical. In the absense of the physical, you are just a whiner...
# posted by 
: 12:47 PM
: 12:47 PM
The 95% figure is completely bogus. It may have been based on a small study done at a women's shelter. I can't find a source for it but I thought I saw one once.
Look here and here for some more info. Of course the feminists push the 95% figure because is serves their purpose, which is not equal protection under the law but special consideration.
The Bureau of Justice Statistics show Females committed 35.2% of all intimate partner murders form 1976-2002. Maybe murder isn't domestic violence.
Look here and here for some more info. Of course the feminists push the 95% figure because is serves their purpose, which is not equal protection under the law but special consideration.
The Bureau of Justice Statistics show Females committed 35.2% of all intimate partner murders form 1976-2002. Maybe murder isn't domestic violence.
I think co-dependent people stay married for far too long. Domestic violence is a call every police officer dreads to go on. They arrest the male, and as many times as not, the female gets violent over the police trying to take her punching bag away.
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# posted by : 3:39 AM
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