Tuesday, May 15, 2007


I Wanna Be Like Mike

During my youth, I dreamed of being an wise and powerful journalist. Mike Wallace, who is older than the hills, provided a shining beacon for us aspirants. As I still harbor a small amount of my previous ambition, I still want to emulate Mr. Wallace.

In a 60 Minutes interview last Sunday, Mr. Mike asked Republican candidate, Mitt Romney, if Mr. Romney and his wife had had premarital sex. As Mr. Wallace is a esteemed professional journalist, this is obviously a pertinent question for presidential candidates.

Wanting to be like Mike, I have some questions for presidential candidates, also.

For Joe Biden: Do you ever get your foot out of your mouth long enough to have sex? Have you ever done it in the rear booth of a Dunkin' Donuts?

For John Edwards: When you have sex, do you imagine that you're actually making love to yourself? Have you ever made love without looking at yourself in the mirror?

For Dennis Kucinich: Have you ever actually had sex with this tall redhead you claim is your wife? Judging from appearance only, you seem a rather unlikely couple.

For Barak Obama: Do you exaggerate the number of times you've had sex the same way you you exaggerated the the number of deaths due to the Kansas tornado, approximately 833 to 1?

For Bill Richardson, Mike Gravel, and Christopher Dodd: Who are you and why are you bothering to run for President? Why don't you go home and make love to your wives?

For Hillary Clinton: When was the last time you had sex with Bill? Did he moan the words "Oh, Monica?"

If Mike Wall and 60 Minutes have any gumption, they will pose these questions to the candidates. The public must know.

Hat tip to jau at Just Muttering.

Hear, hear.

That's such an idiot question to ask someone, and has so very little to do with how good a President an individual would make it drags journalism down as an industry.

It is a damn shame these 'journalists' are so silly they will waste time asking questions like that when there are far more valid and pressing specifics of policy decisions and judgements of competency we need to see demonstrated.

What a shame.
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