Thursday, March 01, 2007


Domestic Workers, Funny Conservatives and Gays

Is what illegal immigration really about? Having someone to mow your lawn and clean your house? Seems I remember Hillary Clinton saying something similar including waiting tables but I can't find it on the Web. At least the Dems agree with that idiot Bush on one thing.
"Every time a Border Patrol officer is transporting a load of future housekeepers and landscapers to someplace to be returned, he's not looking for drug dealers or drug loads," - Michael Chertoff (Story HERE)

John McQuaid asks this question at Huffington Post: Why Aren't Conservatives Funny?

Answer: They are. Liberals just don't get the joke.
I ask this question: Why are liberals obsessed with homosexuality?

Mediocre NBA big man, John Amaechi announces he's gay and suddenly he's everywhere. I'm a casual follower of basketball. I generally watch one or two games of the NBA play-offs each year. My oldest son follows the NBA pretty closely as do some of my co-workers. I've never heard of John Amaechi. It's a good guess he's not related to Don Ameche. They spell their names differently. I saw John Amaechi on The Daily Show. He seems like a decent fellow, unlike many other NBA players.

Time magazine proclaims Ellen Degenerate (Go ahead and laugh you crazy liberals. It's a JOKE. A bad one, maybe, but no worse than much of what you say about non-believers, i.e. us fascist, Nazi, fundamentalist, wingnuts.) to be "mainstream." I guess you know you've made it when Time magazine declares you "mainstream." But isn't that a double edged sword? If you're mainstream, your no longer a cutting edge, avant guard trend setter. You're as plain as vanilla ice cream. (My favorite, btw.)

The article contains this tidbit of wisdom:
Lesbians simply don't inspire the kind of social-sexual unease that gay men do. Two chicks kissing is a male fantasy, a sweeps stunt. Two dudes kissing is gross-out humor.
Is the author of this article homophobic? Sounds like it when it comes to male homosexuality.

I keep hearing that two chicks kissing is a male fantasy. Whose? Apparently the writer of the story and a few others, but not mine. One woman is enough to fulfill my fantasies. (Is that too boring for you? If so, don't look at me. Investigate why you're so easily bored.) I suppose that men may tolerate lesbianism more easily because men desire the female body and can understand why others would too.

I didn't watch the Oscars but I saw one of Ellen's jokes on cable news. It was about America voting for Al Gore. Geesh! Get over it. You lost! The audience laughed but maybe it was a sympathy laugh. It wasn't that funny.

But I digress. All this reminds me of an anecdote I heard years ago regarding a drug rehab program. The addicts would go cold turkey. After they shivered and sweated and shook for however long it took, they would usually jump up and jubilantly announce, "I did it, I did it. I kicked the habit!" Then a staff member would come over to them, hand them a mop and say, "Good, now do something useful."

Being gay is not an accomplishment unto itself. Indeed, the politically correct view is that you're born than way. It's in your genes. A gay person can't help being gay any more than I can help being a testosterone drenched, macho, pile driving, heterosexual love machine. (Laugh. It's another JOKE.)

So quit making such a big deal out of it and do something useful.

UPDATE: Ed Morrisay at In response to a comment by Ann Coulter, Captain's Quarters thinks, "At some point, Republicans will need to get over their issues with homosexuality." Maybe so, but Dick Cheney and his daughter seem to get along quite well although they obviously disagree on some issues.

Democrats need to get over their issues with normal, heterosexual, white males. (Don't consider this last statement, you bigoted liberals, as anti-gay. Some of the best friends I've had in my life are/were gay.) Coulter called John Edwards a "faggot". If that's the best insult you can come up with for an elitist, carbon producing, ambulance chasing, hypocritical, liberal Democrat lawyer, you should expect criticism.

What was that? Sorry, I read "two girls kissing" and lost track of what we were talking about.

I don't mean to not be classy, or even say I want to join in when two women are kissing, but I gotta tell ya, two hot chicks doing body shots off one another and making out on the bar of a notorious Island City establishment over Christmas break is a sight that is more than enough to give one pause.

And yes, I paused, and ordered another beer. Forgot that I had friends waiting in a car outside. They came back in, angrily looking for me.

They too, forgot they were angry and ordered up more tasty beverages.

All thought of vehicular transportation was lost.

But if there is one thing that makes it OK to walk home in the cold rain, that was it.
I've never understood that 'two chicks kissing is a male fantasy' either. To me it's 'who cares?' I'd rather have my wife and find kissing in public to be juvenile ... don't matter who or what it is. Hah! I just think "Get a room!"
Cousin Pat, the only problem with all that is that you can only watch. Yes, it would be fun to watch, but my fantasies involve being behind closed doors, a la Charlie Rich.
Sometimes, "only watching" isn't a problem at all. And yes, it is very juvenile. And very low brow. I admit all of these things. I shouldn't even be talking about it, in order to keep my PC credentials in shape (snicker), and my moral compass squeaky clean.

But I grew up on Island City...

I really think it is only a fantasy because the porn industry makes such a big to-do out of it, and a lot of guys get their cues from the porn industry, no matter how unhealthy that is.

But I grew up on Island City...
Maybe liberals are considered funny because conservatives laugh at them all the time. However, liberals have no sense of humor.

I can write something sarcastic, tongue in cheek, outlandish, or ridiculing of liberals, and they never get it. They actually are so eaten up in their "save the world" mentality that they cannot imagine people not taking their problems seriously.

One time when I commented to the liberals about this, they responded by saying that they do have a sense of humor and pulled out the names of Woody Allen and the Smothers Brothers to prove it. Wow!
They actually are so eaten up in their "save the world" mentality that they cannot imagine people not taking their problems seriously.

How true.

Smothers Brothers and Woody Allen? If your younger than 45 or 50 you barely know who they are. I just asked my 13 year old son if he knew who they were. Woody Allen is "the actor with the big glasses" and he's never heard of the Smothers Brothers.

Of course, it's questionable using an elderly man who hooked up with his step-daughter as an example. Plus, the last "funny" movie Woody Allen made was in the 1970's.

Al Gore is pretty funny but the left doesn't realize that everything Gore does is funny.
Any liberal who quotes the Smothers Brothers and Woody Allen as examples of other liberals who 'have a sense of humor' are confused as to what a sense of humor actually is. Those are folks you shouldn't ask about humor at all.

Matter of fact, if there is a 'liberal' anywhere talking about humorous liberals, and the first five words out of their mouths don't include the words "Chris," "Rock," "Dave," "Chappelle," "George" or "Carlin," you may not be talking to someone who knows humor.

I'm just sayin'.
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