DADvocate

The other day I mentioned that a blogger called TallGirl stated, "I name all my dogs after Democrats". At first, I thought she needed to get a life. Being immersed in politics to the point that you name you pets after political figures isn't psychology healthy.

But then again, maybe she's on to something. I should give it a try. Aiming to keep an open mind and broaden my horizons, I decided to use names of Democrats, as does TallGirl, instead of Republicans and other conservatives. I feel better already.

My kids named our dog Shelby, after the Mustang Shelby GT 500. Now our dog's name is (Robert) Byrd. After all, she is a bird dog and she doesn't get along well with the black lab next door. At least she didn't used to.

My son's pet rat snake is now "Slick Willy." His over fed guinea pig "Murtha". We even named the oak tree in the backyard "Al Gore." My tomato garden bears the title "Heinz-Kerry Memorial Gardens."

In my enthusiasm, I have printed a list of all Republican Congresspersons and Republican Senators and posted it in the bathroom. Whenever I flush something down the commode, I pick a name off the list and give it to the matter being flushed.

Already I'm beginning to feel more compassionate. I have an urge to steal money from the wealthy raise the taxes on the rich (anyone making more than I do) and use that money to build huge social/governmental structures that "help" the poor. All politicians with a "(D)" after their names have become seemingly more intelligent, caring, and insightful.

I am beginning to understand why Hezbollah kidnaps Israeli soldiers, fires rockets into civilian targets and then claims it's all Israel's fault. Those poor terrorists have been oppressed for years. I bet John Kerry could have prevented this.

Can you believe George Bush has wreaked all this havoc? Do I feel the Earth warming? The ice in my tea is melting!

I think I was better off with my dog named Shelby.